Four of our grand children live in the same city we live in. We see them a lot. When spring break comes, we take them somewhere for a few days. When we travel, it's usually to see our other grandchildren (we have 7) who don't live in Florida. Next summer our plan is to take our 4 grandsons to St. Thomas for fun in the sun as well as helping them see and understand where my parents grew up. BTW the boys range from age 10-3, so it will be a unique time. A lot of people criticize us for spending so much time with our grandchildren and some say we do to much for them. Maybe we do, but we are making memories with them and we hope the experiences they have had with us, (we don't by them things, we provide experiences) will stay with them long after we are gone. Maybe they'll pass similar experiences to their children and grandchildren. Selfishly, we want to be those grandparents that they say made a difference in their lives. Your thinking is right. Travel now and when your future grandkids come, and are old enough take them on adventures/travel with them.
My 4yr old grandson makes me laugh everyday . Even when he’s trying to be serious . This is invaluable . To spend time with a near angel and laugh is better than travel or money.
Our oldest son needed to move back in with a few months ago and bring his toddler son with him. Intergenerational living is certainly an adventure that requires a lot of communication and logistics. There are days when I wonder if I can do it- but then I look at what it's doing for our relationships and the closeness we are building with both of them and it is all worthwhile.
I am the retired grandfather that lives close to his grandchildren. I regularly spend time with them and wouldn’t have it any other way. Hoping they remember me fondly when I am gone.
It doesn't have to be either or. You are fortunate to be very young with a writing career that let's you work from anywhere. Why not take a year to live abroad now, if that is something you want to do? When your son starts a family, you can always come back. Wherever you go, rent, don't buy. It's also a good way to save compared to the cost of living in any US metro and gives you flexibility to come home or go somewhere else when you decide it's time. It may even give you great material for your writing! I lived in Latin America in my youth. What I observed about family, community and what we actually need to live, I have carried with me and passed on to my kids. Exploring other cultures has allowed me to reflect on and appreciate my own, while taking little bits and pieces from others.
I don't see the choice as binary. My wife and I did move to Florida and do travel occasionally, but still get to see our grandchildren. We have four children in Maryland, Colorado and Florida. WE had to chose one, so we moved to Florida. Now we have two of our children living within an hour's drive. Our children and grandchildren are all grown, but now we have the pleasure of two grat grandchildren living in Florida. My wife is having a ball buying them clothes and toys. Life is great with them in it. But, we still get to spend a few weeks in Mexico every year.
You're making such a good point, Adam. If I can add something, a society that has touted self-fulfillment and fun is full of unhappy people. We used to think in terms of obligations and responsibilities more than "what's in it for me." Amazingly, we were also happier.
There is tremendous joy in being part of grandchildren's lives. There is also a responsibility to future generations to do so. Like your wife, I am a better person for having been close to my grandparents. I want to, and feel obligated, to pay some of that forward by being a part of my grandchildren's lives. I would not be happier having less to do with them and I would be harming them and society if I chose to do so. It's a win-win situation.
I traveled a good bit internationally for my job for 27 yrs. I spent alot of time in countries where single children either lived with their parents until marriage, lived near their parents or were expected to be present as their parents got older. This was a primary motivation for choosing to buy a home w/ another single siblibg AND to live 5 houses away from my parents. I'm very glad I got that opportunity. Family is everything!
I met a dentist at a car dealer shop. He was excited about his new vehicle which would be prefect to pick up his grandkids. He decided to retire early so he could be a hands on grandparent along with his wife. I've met others who did the same. Friends in the boomer/X generation had parents who were too busy to be involved with their grandkids. Now I see a different attitude emerging where they want to be involved. In some ways it seems similar to friends whose mothers had demanding jobs. When they became mothers, they chose to stay home with their kids.
I'm genX and came from a family where nobody talked or connected. My dad retired at age ~ 35 and never even came to see his grandkids. This did inspire me to be different. We have a wonderful family and I work hard to maintain cohesion , not just with myself but also the kids among each other. How many people are there in the world who will truly be there for you when you're in need? How many people will listen to your story? How many people will truly be happy for you when you have a success? For most people they're lucky if the number is even 1.
I saw a video of a boomer grandpa boasting that he lives far, far away from his grandkids. He's done his job, now it's his (adult) kids' turn to deal with raising children.
How selfish, callous, cold. Would you want to be _that_ kind of grandpa?
And there are a lot of parents like that. Frankly our parents are like that too. They just want you to send them some pictures that they can boast with to their friends but they don't want to be involved in their grandkids' lives.
I don't get it frankly.. If I picture the retired me, I would probably let my kids live in my house and help to maintain it. Fix up some old cars together for the grandkids. Maybe go on a vacation in the RV twice a year. Watch the grandkids when my kids are busy. etc.
Sono d'accordo, vorrei, aggiungere che,residenti dell'occidente (America ,Europa) odierne hanno una possibilità unica di viaggiare ,che, è mancata da sempre alle persone " normali" : all'inizio del '900 un viaggio breve per visitare l'Italia, per esempio dalla Svizzera, era consentito ( con innumerevoli valigie e preparativi) solo alla alta "borghesia " ,professori universitari, dirigenti ,medici primari di importanti ospedali .
Pertanto un nonno in pensione oggi,può viaggiare con i suoi nipoti , 2 /3 volte all'anno con una spesa inferiore all'abitare definitivamente in un paese "terzo" e penso,sia una GIOIA MOLTO superiore.
What values does it reflect this dream of snowbirding or relocating abroad? Bizarre focus on hedonism and money instead of human relationships. I love picturesque Italian hill towns with 1€ old houses and better food as much as the next guy, but counting on your kids to visit you there is asking too much, so you will be alone. I wonder how these people ignore that tradeoff.
Four of our grand children live in the same city we live in. We see them a lot. When spring break comes, we take them somewhere for a few days. When we travel, it's usually to see our other grandchildren (we have 7) who don't live in Florida. Next summer our plan is to take our 4 grandsons to St. Thomas for fun in the sun as well as helping them see and understand where my parents grew up. BTW the boys range from age 10-3, so it will be a unique time. A lot of people criticize us for spending so much time with our grandchildren and some say we do to much for them. Maybe we do, but we are making memories with them and we hope the experiences they have had with us, (we don't by them things, we provide experiences) will stay with them long after we are gone. Maybe they'll pass similar experiences to their children and grandchildren. Selfishly, we want to be those grandparents that they say made a difference in their lives. Your thinking is right. Travel now and when your future grandkids come, and are old enough take them on adventures/travel with them.
Thank you for sharing your story. You're giving them amazing memories.
My 4yr old grandson makes me laugh everyday . Even when he’s trying to be serious . This is invaluable . To spend time with a near angel and laugh is better than travel or money.
Our oldest son needed to move back in with a few months ago and bring his toddler son with him. Intergenerational living is certainly an adventure that requires a lot of communication and logistics. There are days when I wonder if I can do it- but then I look at what it's doing for our relationships and the closeness we are building with both of them and it is all worthwhile.
I am the retired grandfather that lives close to his grandchildren. I regularly spend time with them and wouldn’t have it any other way. Hoping they remember me fondly when I am gone.
It doesn't have to be either or. You are fortunate to be very young with a writing career that let's you work from anywhere. Why not take a year to live abroad now, if that is something you want to do? When your son starts a family, you can always come back. Wherever you go, rent, don't buy. It's also a good way to save compared to the cost of living in any US metro and gives you flexibility to come home or go somewhere else when you decide it's time. It may even give you great material for your writing! I lived in Latin America in my youth. What I observed about family, community and what we actually need to live, I have carried with me and passed on to my kids. Exploring other cultures has allowed me to reflect on and appreciate my own, while taking little bits and pieces from others.
I don't see the choice as binary. My wife and I did move to Florida and do travel occasionally, but still get to see our grandchildren. We have four children in Maryland, Colorado and Florida. WE had to chose one, so we moved to Florida. Now we have two of our children living within an hour's drive. Our children and grandchildren are all grown, but now we have the pleasure of two grat grandchildren living in Florida. My wife is having a ball buying them clothes and toys. Life is great with them in it. But, we still get to spend a few weeks in Mexico every year.
You're making such a good point, Adam. If I can add something, a society that has touted self-fulfillment and fun is full of unhappy people. We used to think in terms of obligations and responsibilities more than "what's in it for me." Amazingly, we were also happier.
There is tremendous joy in being part of grandchildren's lives. There is also a responsibility to future generations to do so. Like your wife, I am a better person for having been close to my grandparents. I want to, and feel obligated, to pay some of that forward by being a part of my grandchildren's lives. I would not be happier having less to do with them and I would be harming them and society if I chose to do so. It's a win-win situation.
The shift from citizen culture to consumer culture has not been good for us.
I traveled a good bit internationally for my job for 27 yrs. I spent alot of time in countries where single children either lived with their parents until marriage, lived near their parents or were expected to be present as their parents got older. This was a primary motivation for choosing to buy a home w/ another single siblibg AND to live 5 houses away from my parents. I'm very glad I got that opportunity. Family is everything!
I met a dentist at a car dealer shop. He was excited about his new vehicle which would be prefect to pick up his grandkids. He decided to retire early so he could be a hands on grandparent along with his wife. I've met others who did the same. Friends in the boomer/X generation had parents who were too busy to be involved with their grandkids. Now I see a different attitude emerging where they want to be involved. In some ways it seems similar to friends whose mothers had demanding jobs. When they became mothers, they chose to stay home with their kids.
I'm genX and came from a family where nobody talked or connected. My dad retired at age ~ 35 and never even came to see his grandkids. This did inspire me to be different. We have a wonderful family and I work hard to maintain cohesion , not just with myself but also the kids among each other. How many people are there in the world who will truly be there for you when you're in need? How many people will listen to your story? How many people will truly be happy for you when you have a success? For most people they're lucky if the number is even 1.
I saw a video of a boomer grandpa boasting that he lives far, far away from his grandkids. He's done his job, now it's his (adult) kids' turn to deal with raising children.
How selfish, callous, cold. Would you want to be _that_ kind of grandpa?
And there are a lot of parents like that. Frankly our parents are like that too. They just want you to send them some pictures that they can boast with to their friends but they don't want to be involved in their grandkids' lives.
I don't get it frankly.. If I picture the retired me, I would probably let my kids live in my house and help to maintain it. Fix up some old cars together for the grandkids. Maybe go on a vacation in the RV twice a year. Watch the grandkids when my kids are busy. etc.
Sono d'accordo, vorrei, aggiungere che,residenti dell'occidente (America ,Europa) odierne hanno una possibilità unica di viaggiare ,che, è mancata da sempre alle persone " normali" : all'inizio del '900 un viaggio breve per visitare l'Italia, per esempio dalla Svizzera, era consentito ( con innumerevoli valigie e preparativi) solo alla alta "borghesia " ,professori universitari, dirigenti ,medici primari di importanti ospedali .
Pertanto un nonno in pensione oggi,può viaggiare con i suoi nipoti , 2 /3 volte all'anno con una spesa inferiore all'abitare definitivamente in un paese "terzo" e penso,sia una GIOIA MOLTO superiore.
Cordiali saluti
Un'amico dell'Italia
Reasonable idea. What about when you’re 65, and your adult children show no interest in parenting?
I agree that being close to grandchildren is a plus but it’s even better when they globetrot with you! They learn about different cultures and have
more value of theirs. As a Traveler, it warms my heart when I see children cruising or at a resort with their grandparent….
Agree.
What values does it reflect this dream of snowbirding or relocating abroad? Bizarre focus on hedonism and money instead of human relationships. I love picturesque Italian hill towns with 1€ old houses and better food as much as the next guy, but counting on your kids to visit you there is asking too much, so you will be alone. I wonder how these people ignore that tradeoff.