Dads Have A Superpower Worthy of Celebration

Fathers are not just secondary caregivers or economic providers—they are emotional anchors, moral role models, and vital agents of psychological growth for their children, especially as they mature beyond infancy. In the public square, however, fathers are still treated as optional and even a burden. There is no substitute for a Dad. The role is not interchangeable.

In policy, media, and even some psychological circles, we see a troubling trend of minimizing the father’s role in child development. But the science—and common sense—tell a different story.

“I am safe, and I can venture forth!”

From a developmental perspective, the presence of a father introduces a necessary and healthy tension in the parent-child dynamic: while mothers often provide the foundation of empathy, emotional safety, and attunement in early childhood, fathers frequently serve as a separation figure—someone who gently but firmly encourages autonomy, risk-taking, and exploration.

This balance is not oppositional—it is complementary.

Maternal nurturing soothes and contains anxiety; paternal presence often channels that security into outward motion. A child internalizes both: “I am safe, and I can venture forth.” In infancy, this can be observed in the playful stimulation many fathers offer, such as rough-and-tumble play, tossing a toddler in the air, or encouraging a toddler's first climb at the playground.

As the child matures, the father’s role often becomes one of guiding principles, boundaries, and support for navigating the world outside the home.

The Pain of a Missing Piece

The absence of this balance can have long-term consequences. Children without emotionally present fathers may become overly dependent, emotionally fragile, or uncertain of their place in the social order. Conversely, when a child has a father who lovingly pushes them toward competence and independence, the result is often greater self-confidence, emotional resilience, and an ability to form healthy relationships later in life. The impact of this absence is particularly seen in young boys.

Psychologist and author Warren Farrell, in his groundbreaking book The Boy Crisis, describes father involvement as the missing piece in addressing everything from school failure to emotional dysregulation in boys. His research highlights that boys, in particular, suffer when they lack what he calls “dad-style parenting”— firm yet loving discipline, encouragement to take responsibility, and a steady presence that fosters delayed gratification and respect for boundaries.

Likewise, Ian Rowe, through his advocacy in education and policy, continues to champion fatherhood as a foundational pillar of the “success sequence”—a pathway to upward mobility that includes education, work, marriage, and engaged parenting. Rowe speaks powerfully to the broader social and cultural dimensions of fatherhood, particularly for children growing up in disadvantaged communities, where father absence is too often the norm rather than the exception.

Dads Have Something Special

These men are not idealizing fatherhood—they are recognizing its psychological and societal necessity. They’re also echoing what many of us who work with children already know….

When a father is emotionally present, the outcomes for a child, regardless of race, class, or zip code, are radically improved.

It always has to be said: not all families look the same

Many single mothers work heroically to fill every role for their child. However, acknowledging the critical role of fathers is not an indictment of single mothers—it is a call to support men in realizing their full potential as emotionally engaged, developmentally attuned caregivers.

Let’s move beyond sentimentality this Father’s Day. Let’s use the occasion to reset the cultural conversation around fatherhood—not as optional, not as ornamental, but as foundational. Let’s value fathers not only for their strength and provision, but for their psychological presence.

Dads have a unique ability to gently pull their children into the world with confidence, courage, and character. That is cause for celebration.

Erica Komisar, LCSW is a psychoanalyst and author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and Chicken Little The Sky Isn’t Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety.